whole-body detox

I hope everyone had a blessed Christmas! I had fun seeing family and friends all week, and enjoying my first paid vacation of my lifetime. I got my own health insurance card in the mail today too... I feel like such a big girl.

So my new goal (not a resolution... a real goal) is to detox my body by February. I'm really happy that I lost some weight last year, don't get me wrong... I just think I can improve my health. Generally I've been feeling strung out, tired, bloated, and no-good. I blame it on bad food and bad habits. I'm not terrible: I do know to drink 6-8 glasses of water a day, exercise, and sleep. But it doesn't seem like enough, and motivation is quite hard to come by some days. So I figure having a plan might help. I'm not posting the plan only for readership, but really just because I need to write it down somewhere and make it final. So here goes:

The Plan
I'm going to use this old Pilates video tape (yes, I still own a few video tapes) every day until I can move up to the intermediate class tape, which I might just splurge on and buy the DVD version of. (Kidding, I'm too embarrassed to get in a checkout line with VHS these days). But I started this tonight, and it was a good start.

I will hit the gym for some cardio at least three times a week, and I'm going to keep a record of it. I have a free mini-gym here, and I don't know why I don't use it more. Wait... maybe because my key didn't work when I tried to go tonight? I'll get that fixed. Or I'll save up for a membership to something with more than six machines.

I'm going to stop eating out for lunch at work, because that's been a huge source of oily Chinese food, processed meat, and sugar-loaded soda for months.

In addition, I'm going to do some better meal planning when I have time. Meal planning in the past has consisted of me getting hungry while working, deciding I'm going to stop by Food Lion on the way home, and grabbing random things to throw together. I have great cookbooks with low-fat options in them, and they are getting dusty... why not use them instead? I like to think the things I choose to have in my apartment all have some beneficial properties. (Whether they are actually useful may never be known until I move again and give away a third of my possessions like I did this summer).

One thing that I really don't know how to handle though is my coffee habit. Ever since I started full-time in the 9 to 5 industry, I've been drinking coffee to get going. I only drink one cup per day though. Any thoughts on whether this is detrimental to my health, or if only one is okay? I guess the main thing with me in the mornings is that my sinuses are usually stuffy, and as a result I'm hazy for a few hours after waking up.

Lastly I've promised myself that I will go get a physical with my new doctor, whenever I get that set up. It will just be good to know where I stand with everything health-wise, and maybe I won't worry so much.

So here's to 2008! (It's not so strange saying that this year because I have been entering these future dates into databases at work for months now. Ha!) I hope everyone else is having a great weekend.

a blog for your viewing

This all stemmed from a seemingly superficial conversation which disguised itself well.

There are people who never question their existence. (I want to knock these people over the heads.) There are also people who question their existence and decide they have always known what is right and that they'll continue on that path evermore. Then there are those who question existence with each passing opportunity for knowledge, and the question seems to set their entire being/world in motion when it's something profound.

I've always been a sucker for integrity. I find myself easily pointing out fallibility in others: that's not what he said last week, and that's not what she would normally do. I have a dark love for things that never change. In fact, I don't know where this obsession with integrity stems from, because I know my own mind has challenged itself enough to display something that... I'll go out on a limb here... others might consider a lack of integrity in my character. (The love of that which never falters I think is a huge issue for me, since we humans will never attain this. But that is not what I want to write about, and in addition there are several cultures which began with experimental and imperfect gods. Moving on...)

Let me explain something first. I've always considered myself quite a bit more liberal than my friends. I have always allowed myself to entertain doubt and to play the devil's advocate, just so I can understand a situation from many facets of explanation. It's not that I think people with loud integrity are just overfull with hubris (although I have to admit I've thought about that being a possibility). It's just... so unfair, to only come at something from one direction and shun the others as impossibilities in your world. I think life screams out at us daily that it's full of possibilities, and our own stubborn minds do not listen. Look around you. You cannot go a day without meeting someone or seeing something that disagrees with you on some level.

Throughout this lifetime of possibilities, my core being has never changed. I have always remained the same on one level only, and that is my spirit. I say this because of many examples of proof: the way I have always treated other humans, the way I have always thought of sacred things, and the way I think. Even the way I think, which has undergone countless changes, still remains the same in one way that makes me comfortable in my own skin. Some things are feeling the same now at 23, facing the challenges of everyday adult living, as I did at age 8, hugging my mom and playing general manager of a non-existent store that I swore had the best prices on printing brochures in the East. (Yes, I was that dorky. I also "owned" a wholesale furniture store for miniature families living in doll houses, and set up a hospital for insects named General Bugpital with my sister.) I realize that last sentence contains a dangling modifier, but it's too late in the evening to mess with that.

Anyway, I guess what all this blather is really about is that I'm the same. I'm the same, and I'm not the same because of all the experiences I have dared allow myself to have. I can't say I came at all of them full speed ahead with a marching band, but I have never regretted a moment. Everything I have learned has become a part of the same basic Amy, the one who loves to hug and the one who never forgets who is important at the end of the day.

December?!

It's really difficult to believe today is December 1st! As I look to the future constantly trying to improve things... my spirituality, my job, my finances... I have to remember how I accomplished a heck of a lot this year already. I graduated from college (finally!), worked two jobs for a while, and survived a lot of sickness and finally a sinus surgery.

Now I get to survive the holiday season! Today I applied to work part-time as holiday help at Target. I figure I love shopping there, so I probably won't mind working there. That will help me save more and make me less nervous about entering college loan repayment this month.

I find myself feeling more confident and refreshed too, as I concentrate on my spiritual health. I never paid much attention to it in college, which I'm sorry I didn't do because it's incredibly helpful. I have also been going for walks and trying to get some form of exercise in whenever I can (even if that means scrubbing the bathtub extra hard!) Overall, even though every little thing isn't exactly as I had planned, I feel I'm doing exactly what I need to do right now. And that in itself makes me really happy!

Now back to organizing my closet, so that all my work clothes are ready at hand on those early AM days. Ahh, the exciting weekends I have.